Well at least I know my food is fresh.

WELL AT LEAST I KNOW MY FOOD IS FRESH
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Have you ever had a conversation with someone where all you wanted to do is start smacking them in the face over and over again while yelling "Don't you hear what your saying?". Someday I'm positive that my super-ego is just going to collapse under the constant battering of my ID like a barbarian horde attempting to gain access to a castle. Today I was in the break room/kitchen re-heating a burger from yesterdays company cookout. A co-worker walks by carrying a bag of food from KFC and I'm thinking .... why did they just go buy food when there are multiple types of potato/pasta salads, fruit, potato chips and about 30 burgers sitting in the fridge. So I ask the question and the response I get is "I don't eat that stuff after it's been cooked and then sits around." Normally I'd understand this as at Sprockets food as a tendency to sit out for whole afternoons before it is wrapped up in aluminum foil and put into the fridge. Cooked meat sitting out at room temperature ='s nasty, I get that. So said coworker comes back in the kitchen and a dialogue ensues:

Coworker: I don't eat re-heated burgers, a re-heated burger doesn't even taste like a burger.

Me: Well you eat at MacDonalds right? MacDonalds basically re-heats their burgers.

Coworker: That's not true they mostly cook their burgers and then when they make them they throw them back on the grill again.

Me: Wha huh? No they don't have you ever watched, watched with your two eyes as they make your burger. They pull the patty out of the heating drawer and they smack your burger together. There's no finish cooking.

Coworker: So, besides I don't like crappy food.

Me: HUH!? You just walked in with a bag of KFC? KFC isn't even remotely considered 'good food', shit the chicken can't even be called chicken.

Coworker: Maybe but at least I know that the food is fresh.

Me: [Thinking]Did you just hear what you said? Did you, KFC and fresh in the same sentences I'm surprised the the world didn't just end after saying those two things together.[Thinking]

At that point I had nothing I was at the point where my only course of action was to start shaking coworker with all my might smacking them over and over again until I could smack some sort of sense into them.

WELCOME TO SPROCKETS YOUR ONE STOP ESCORT SERVICE COMPANY
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It seems I can't go more than a few hours without hearing about some other nutty thing that Sprockets has done. I've said this to people in da flesh but I've never actually said it using my digital self, full force all in the matrix and stuff. A small company is great in many ways there isn't a lot of red tape, very little bureaucracy involved, things can get done very quickly without a lot of committees and what not, of course none of this has anything to do with Sprockets as we have that big company feel with a small company reality. The real issue with small company is that you are always two degrees from knowing all the personal business and corporate decisions. In my last job I worked for one of those multi national corporations that likes to beat seals and chew on babies feet when they aren't trying to squeeze every last penny out of you. There was all kinds of corporate misdeeds being done at corporate however as that was 600 miles away I never actually saw it happening or talked to anyone who was even remotely connected to the stupid decision. So when I heard about some of the bad things going down it was as if I was looking at the problem from the outside because from my perspective my little local office was doing pretty ok. Just they other day we changed the voice of the automated phone service that will answer the phone when you call our corporate number. The voice before sounded very authoritative and infomercial like something that one would want to have if they were calling a company in times of emergencies or when calling for more information about a product. Now we have a voice much more resembles a phone sex operator. Let me let that sink in. You call Sprockets and you will get someone who sounds more like they are going to ask you what you are wearing and than someone who will attempt to lead you through the phone system. When I listen to it I feel both dirty and excited.. you know what scratch that I just feel dirty. Why this was done who knows, maybe we are going through a rebranding phase where we are becoming an escort service or maybe I work at Sprockets and like when seeing or hearing something about Japan and asking "Why?" you can always just respond "Because it's Japan".

As a continued joke I had SG have her coworkers call our number and see what their first impression was upon hearing our hot and bothered phone operator and the responses were thus:

Response 1:

Sounds like it should be saying:
To have a sultry chat with Lola, press 1.
To schedule a service with Trixie, press 2.
To hear my sexy voice some more, please stay on the line.

Response 2:

It's soothing in a massage-parlor kind of way.