I only have raccoon eyes for you.

Before anyone starts making too much fun of me that's not actually how my face looks. There was a bit of distortion going on due to the proximity of my face to the camera lens. I mean it is true that I have a pretty big schnoz and yes my brow bone practically removes the need to wear a ball cap on sunny days. Actually I have a short story about my brow bone.

When I was in high school I played indoor soccer with a bunch friends. Our team, the "Suicide Squad", was made up of a bunch of band dorks (myself included) and we played in the lowest recreation level. I think it was "D" league however if there was a "Q" league we would have been in that. D league must have meant "D" for easy pickings because we would go up against groups of high school soccer players and middle school club teams. Nothing says humiliation like getting stomped by little kids, the great thing about playing with little cocky kids is that they don't hold up so well on a body check. To make matters worse we would usually have just the right number of people to play while the teams we would go up against would have enough people to swap out their whole line up every few minutes. I think in the three three years we played we lost almost every single game 8-2 with the occasional ASS WHOOPING of 16-4. This one game I went up for a header the same time another guy did and our heads collided. This cat didn't stand a chance, shit I think I could intercept Steven Seagals fist with my head and not feel anything. Calcium is good for the bones Ma. Me with my brow bone landed ready to go after the ball like an energetic Labrador on crack. The other guy landed and fell over with a cut on his head, that's right I cut some dude with the power of my brow, all bow down before the brow lest ye be smote by it.

Where was I? Oh yes brow bones, big noses.. I will say that I look an awful lot like a Whippet, which goes to show you that people do tend to look like their dogs. The comment "their dogs" is misleading as I don't actually have a dog, it's not that I don't like dogs I do especially Whippets and Greyhounds. They are cute if your definition is a small, hairless, boney, translucent thing. They are great dog's though even if laying next to one is like cuddling up to the skeleton of some small dinosaur like animal. It's the thought that counts, they really do think they are soft and cuddly. As I was saying no dogs for us as we both work and as I don't see either one of us working less getting a dog is pretty much out of the question. One of my roommates had a chocolate Labrador and the dog was neurotic most likely due to the fact that she sat 6+ hours a day in a dark basement, doggy solitary. I could look at the dog, raise my eyebrow and it would shoot projectile diarrhea like a fire hose. Back to Whippets, for those who like their information chewed up and fed back to them all mushy like an adult bird feeds it's chicks I learned that Whippets were bred by northern working-class Englishman. The reason why working-class people did this was that they did not have the space or the money to feed a Greyhound. I'm not sure what possessed someone in England with a climate far from warm to to breed an animal with fur resembling eyelashes but there ya go.

You may not have realized it yet but the whole point of this post was that last week I was sporting some bitching zombie dark circles, what can I say the train of thought has wheels of flubber. I did a little stroll around the interweb and found out that dark circles have very little if anything to do with fatigue and is most certainly not a precursor to becoming a zombie. It is inherited, generally caused more from allergies or excema (skin condition) and can get worse as you get older. The day I took this picture it looked like Mike Tyson punched me once in each eye, either that or a zombie clown bit me when I wasn't looking. Can you possibly imagine how frightening a zombie clown would be? That completely creeps me out.